You probably don’t remember the days when pharma ads didn’t dominate
TV advertising. The biggest impact these ads have had on me is not
making me aware of the drugs, but making me aware of the condition the
drugs are supposed to treat.
I have suspected for a long time that pharma companies were inventing
these diseases. Now I’m sure of it. I mean, c’mon, who ever heard of
“Low T” before they started running ads for it? Personally, I’m sick
of these ads (pun intended), and hearing my wife (jokingly?) say to me
every time they come on, “maybe that’s your problem.”
But you know what they say: If it didn’t work, they wouldn’t keep doing it.
So it got me thinking: Maybe financial firms need to do this to help
sell their products. Here are few of the “conditions,” or financial
diseases, that financial firms could invent to help sell their
1. Low-C. Do you find yourself without enough money to go out drinking
in the days leading up to your next paycheck? You probably suffer from
Low-C (low cash). Instead of trying to sell something as distasteful
as a “payday loan” to people, banks should offer Low-C Infusions.
2. Equitile Dysfunction. If you don’t have the financial power to get
that new home improvement up, but have a decent amount of equity in
your home, you might have equitile dysfunction. Trying to push “home
equity loans” is so 1995. Pharma companies offers Staxyn for ED, so
why don’t banks offer Stoxyn for financial ED? Tag line could be: Take
Stock In Your Home.
3. Restless ARM Syndrome. You know that adjustable rate mortgage
that’s got you worried, because you just know that interest rates are
going to rise? A “fixed mortgage” is no way to cure that disease. If
pharma companies can offer Requip for restless leg syndrome, then
banks can offer Refin for restless ARM syndrome.
Anyway, it’s not my job to come up with this stuff. Financial services
marketers need to get a little creative here and take a look outside
the industry for what’s working in the world of marketing.
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Ron Shevlin is a senior consultant at The Aite Group.